I'll eclipse your new moon

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while, I've been a little busy lately.

With what, you ask? Papers? Finals? Work?

No.

This:

All you tools who think you're too good for this series can go cry and read whatever it is you read. I'll be on my couch eating pretzels, squealing over sparkly vampires in meadows and enjoying the deliciously terrible writing by the raddest Mormon since Brigham Young.

And the writing is bad. Meyer has these little descriptive catchphrases that she uses over and over and over, my favorite being "...said so-and-so, through unmoving lips." Jigga, what? I tried this, I tried talking without moving my lips. I worked at it for about 10 minutes before I realized that there are people in the world who dedicate their entire lives to perfecting this craft. They're called ventriloquists.

And of course the whole thing is a thinly veiled chastity lesson. Um, a 17 year old girl who will literally get the blood sucked out of her if she bones her boyfriend? Couple that with the cover of the second book in the series...

...and you realize that subtlety is not high on Meyer's priority list. But still! The...the...seventeen-ness of it all is magical. J.K. Rowling may have the upper hand when it comes to plot, narrative, blah blah blah, but homegirl wishes she could write unmitigated teenage angst like this.

I'm about to start the 3rd book in the series, Eclipse, and the inside flap is taunting me with the following sentence: "With her graduation quickly approaching, Bella has one more decision to make: life or death. But which is which?"

INDEED!